Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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