You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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