Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
