we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
