I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
