so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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