I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
