No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize