if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
