: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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