Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
