the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
