We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
