there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
