Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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