well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
