My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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