He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
