morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize