Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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