Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
