Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
