I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
