I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
