I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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