Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Quick, to the slutcave!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
