I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Come see our sink grown plant.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
