yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
