Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
