THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
