you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
