so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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