i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
