My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
