I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
