Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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