just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
