I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
