I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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