it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
