just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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