some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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