im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize