How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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