No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize