This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
