playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
