i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
