The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
