No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
