I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize