Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
