So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
