loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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