I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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