i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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