I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize