If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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