Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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