i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
