She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
