We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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