Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
