no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
