this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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