If i come over, it means nothing
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
