I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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