so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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