I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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