so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
